What you can't see is off to the left, recruiters for the TSA and IRS in a fistfight over who gets to offer her a job.

So I stopped by the BMW shop today with a friend--you know, just to drool on the bikes that cost more than any car I've ever owned--and saw that they also sell Vespa scooters, starting at about four grand, and running up to over seven.

How the hell do you hang three kilobucks' worth of accessories on a freaking Vespa?

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2008/aug/22/immigration-agency-scraps-self-deport-program-1-2/

SANTA ANA, CALIF. (AP) - The federal government will scrap a program for illegal immigrants to turn themselves in for deportation after only eight people volunteered during a nearly three-week trial, an official said Thursday.

The only surprise here is that eight people actually volunteered.

...remember: if the President does it, it's okay:

Dave: It would be nice if people would engage in a little critical thinking.
Dave: Also, it would be nice to ride to work on a high-subsonic unicorn pony.
Alan: yeah, I don't like the supersonic ones
Alan: it's the booming
Dave: Not to mention the fuel economy. I want something that gets more miles-per-bale, and you just can't do that with an afterpooper.

"I'd shut [Apple] down and give the money back to the shareholders."
--Michael Dell

News story:
"Mac Daily News was one of many Apple-followers to note that Apple Inc.'s market capitalization exceeded Google today. That means that the combined value of all Apple's outstanding shares of stock exceeded the combined value of all Google's outstanding shares of stock. Apple's stock is worth $157 billion and change vs. Google's $156 billion. Other companies Apple has surpassed in market cap include Cisco, HP, and Intel. Also, Apple is now worth 3 times the value of Dell Computer...."

http://news.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=08/08/14/0257244

Guess some people just can't handle the pressure of running a big company.

Attention [steakhouse]:

A member of your staff seems to have gotten lost. In the future, if you take I-35 north to I-40, then go west to Agnew, you'll find the stockyards just south of the highway. If you have further trouble, simply roll down your window; I understand the olfactory beacon is operational at this time.

Please let me know if I can be of further assistance.

http://jamesfallows.theatlantic.com/archives/2007/11/the_way_vs_a_way_ja...
Best way:

Worst way:

...unless you Federalize:
(original Star-Tribune story)

Sonia Pitt, who skipped recovery efforts after the bridge collapse, is now working for TSA.

By PAUL MCENROE and TONY KENNEDY, Star Tribune

Sonia Pitt, the MnDOT emergency response executive fired for taking an unauthorized, state-paid trip to Washington during the Interstate 35W bridge disaster, is now working for the U.S. Department of Homeland Security.

Pitt, 44, of Red Wing, confirmed Wednesday that she is working for Homeland Security's Transportation Safety Administration (TSA) at its headquarters in Arlington, Va. Her job title is "Transportation Security Specialist." Pitt declined to discuss her job responsibilities, her length of employment with the federal agency or her salary.

"All inquiries go through my attorney, same as always," Pitt said.

TSA regional spokesperson Carrie Harmon would provide only Pitt's job title and say that she was hired in May. That was six months after she was fired from her Minnesota post for unprofessional conduct, travel improprieties and misuse of state resources.

After the bridge collapse Aug. 1, Pitt didn't return to Minnesota for nearly two weeks, even as emergency officials struggled to recover the bodies of 13 people killed in the disaster.

Subsequently, three top MnDOT managers were reprimanded and one was suspended for lax oversight of Pitt.

Legislative Auditor Jim Nobles opened an investigation into Pitt's activities after Star Tribune stories on her actions and found that she was a "belligerent, aggressive" employee who abused her position and billed the state for thousands of dollars in excessive compensation for airfare, hotels, mileage and personal cell phone calls.

Pitt's letter of discharge states she engaged in activities that violated MnDOT's ethics code and was involved in "activities that cannot withstand public scrutiny without embarrassment. ... do not safeguard the public trust in the integrity of MnDOT, and undermine public trust in the Department."

And people wonder why I avoid flying.

Among the inane commercials on TV is one for a real estate outfit calling itself 1-800-2 SELL HOMES. Clearly, they chose the company name to make the phone number easy to remember.

Unfortunately, they didn't consider the fact that phone numbers are only seven digits. 1 (800) 2-SELL-HO really ought to go to an entirely different sort of business.