Upon re-reading the collected wisdom of the late. Col. Cooper, we stumbled across this:

We recently ran across an interesting new word, Schlimmbesserung. It describes the process of making something worse by "improving" it. That is a good word to have at the ready these days, since it covers the subject without the necessity of a long-winded explanation.

How ironic that it took the Germans, of all people, to simply Saint-Exupéry's famous comment on the matter ("In anything at all, perfection is finally attained not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away.") to a single word.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,587841,00.html

NEW YORK — Captain Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger, who piloted a US Airways flight during its emergency water landing on the Hudson River in January of last year, is retiring Wednesday.

...

All 150 passengers survived the emergency river landing in January 2009 when the plane's engines were struck by birds.

Call us crazy, but isn't Capt. Sullenberger exactly the sort of man we want in the cockpit when things start going pear-shaped? How is forcing an experienced--and obviously tremendously skilled--pilot to retire because he is having a birthday serving the cause of safety?

Substantive: terms are grossly unfair or favor one party disproportionately, e.g. Rumplestiltskin, "I get your first-born."

Procedural: terms are agreed to by unfair surprise, e.g. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: "It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying 'Beware of the Leopard.'"

In reference to the doctrine of unconscionability (discussing Williams v. Walker-Thomas Furniture Co., 350 F.2d 445 (1965)):

"So...at what point does the store have to, for lack of a better term, break out the finger puppets to explain the contract in order to make a sale?"

We are now in possession of perhaps the most dangerous tool on the general consumer market. To have more fun than this, we'd have to go to heavy equipment!

The Slug: So I got a speeding ticket.
Us: Oh?
The Slug: I suppose I'm about due. I haven't driven the speed limit since I moved here [two years ago].
Us: Yeah, it was your turn.
The Slug: Anyway, I paid the ticket.
Us: You've paid your Debt to Society. Conveniently, Society takes cash.
The Slug: Actually, Society takes VISA.
Us: ...!
The Slug: Y'know, come to think of it, if I default on the card, I can let Society pay my debt to Society!
Us: You ought to send that on to Obama; maybe he'll put it in the next stimulus package.

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For contracts within the Statute of Frauds, if it's not in writing, it's not enforceable. Some states allow various exceptions, including admitting to the terms of the contract. The moral of the story? If you're going to be a dirtbag, you have to commit!

"Air Force One, this is Logan Tower. Please continue circling and give way to the squadron of pigs on short final. Porky Three, you are cleared to land."

It's six degrees (Farenheit) in Norman this morning. Six. Degrees. Our water appears to be frozen at the wellhead, and the weatherdroid said it's going to be colder tonight.

Mr. Gore, we've had just about enough of your Global Warming. Knock it off!